Terms of Service

We do not guarantee a world where Jeff gets the appreciation he deserves. We simply dream of it. Be the change! ([we’re] “working on something that will change the world and human life as we know it” -The Fly)

Gold-Doubloons may not necessarily go up in monetary value, but we guarantee they will go up in sentimental value. (“At its best, life is surprising. Maybe, because that's my appetite, the frontier is uncharted. But it suits me fine. I've gotten used to that. Some people couldn't bear it, but I like that life” -Jeff)

Purchase of products listed are highly correlated with intense sexual dreams featuring Mr. Goldblum. (“Why are you handing me the melt stick?” -Thor Ragnarok)

1. Heterosexual sexual men and partnered women should be wary.

2. Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex

Should there come a time when Jeff Goldblum is “canceled”, our opinion of him may be characterized as “fungible”, but Goldoubloons will never change

1. Everyone makes mistakes and we are of the opinion that Mr. Goldblum can have at least one major whoops statement

2. Who are we kidding, Jeff doesn’t need a mulligan. He’s really that good.

Purchase of Gold-Doubloons does not guarantee anything from the corporeal Jeff Goldblum. (“When did God start caring about any of us” -Prince of Egypt)

We are not affiliated with Jeff Goldblum and he has nothing to do with this project. (“Help me be. Human” -The Fly)

If you are a lawyer representing Mr. Goldblum please include a signed photo of Jeff with your “Cease and Desist” letter (“[we] were so preoccupied with whether or not [we] could, [we] didn’t stop to think if [we] should” Jurassic Park)